Thursday, July 10, 2008

We're back! Or maybe not.


Canada's back! Damn right, we are so back! Let me tell you just how back we are:

Harper echoed Jean's sentiments and stressed the importance of Canada's role on the international stage.

"The news is spreading throughout the world: Canada's back," Harper told the crowd of about 35,000 on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Sunday.

"Canada's back as a vital player on the global stage ... Canadians are citizens of the world and we're making a positive contribution in every field of human endeavour."

"Fuckin' A!", continued Harper, whipping out his dick and slamming it down on the podium. "Match that! You wanna match that? Go ahead, that's what you call some serious Conservative Party of Canada wang right there! Damn straight, don't you be messing with the Big Dick!"

Suddenly, however,

Explosive new documents suggest Canada was aware of the harsh treatment that Canadian terror suspect Omar Khadr was being subjected to in Guantanamo Bay at the hands of U.S. military interrogators.

But Prime Minister Stephen Harper, speaking Thursday in Tokyo, Japan following this week's G8 meetings, said Canada had little say in the situation and has no intention of interfering...

Harper added that Canada: "frankly, has no real alternative'' to the U.S. legal process.

That sound you just heard was Stephen Harper's massive, he-man Conservative wang shrivelling up and retreating back into a body cavity, whimpering in fear the whole way. We here at CC HQ will keep you posted on its possible reappearance.

5 comments:

The Seer said...

The Canadian Patriot over at The Impolitical made an important point the other day: Once George Jr. exits the White House, Stephen Harper will be the world's only major spokesman for the right point of view. That's the day when Canada really arrives.

Niles said...

well, if Steve has no 'real' alternative to the US legal process, which would be news to the *Canadian* legal courts, he'll be politely showing up, hat in hand to the next POTUS investiture and admitting he's been measuring in metric and didn't mean nuffin' by it. But he has trouble with map scales too.

Anonymous said...

. . .Once George Jr. exits the White House, Stephen Harper will be the world's only major spokesman for the right point of view. . . ..
---------------

At this rate, he'll be gone before GWB.

LuLu said...

... Stephen Harper's massive, he-man Conservative wang shrivelling up and retreating back into a body cavity ...

Ew, ew, ewwwwwww. Bad CC. Bad, bad CC for putting even the suggestion of that in my head.

Beijing York said...

Lulu's right. I must reboot to get rid of that image forever :-)